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The truth about Joey...
[portions of the article have been edited for the purposes of truth. Most content in this article is fake/satire!] Joey Hernandez, (full name: Jo-ii Tezuka Shishito Pepper) is a gargantuan, MORBIDLY OBESE, Mexican land-whale blob from Hokkaido, Japan. He was quickly deported to Yuba City, Calif. at age 5 (by the Hokkaido govt.) after attempting to swallow his grandfather whole at dinnertime in Sapporo. It consumes all that comes in contact with it, and is THE prime example of a Pink Guy Disease sufferer! Career Restaurants GDxo5eEFXad5vaumLc8oC60Vz0-z10h32jdJRh3Da6Y.jpg The Joey Jog.gif The Joey Bow.gif The Joey Shuffle.gif When he migrated to Earth after consuming several planets, he has grown into a human form in order to hide from his prey. His hunt continues until all live has been consumed. YouTube Joey has been on YouTube since 2011. He is the creator and star of the popular YouTube channel JoeysWorldTour (Joeypedia page), which has over 85,000,000 subscribers and 650 million views. The channel features Joey's food reviews and other videos. Joey has said that he got into YouTube food reviews "by accident." He was between jobs in 2012 and began uploading food challenges and cooking videos to pass the time. One day, he decided to do a fast-food review in his car. Initially, he was accused of copying YouTube user Th0tOb1it3r4tor, who uses a similar format for his videos. However, Joey contacted Obli and received his "blessing" and support, and decided to continue doing reviews. He truly got a start when he preformed an act of self-destruction by trying to eat diabeetus-inducing Kardashian Poop Nutella without his arms, he was sent to the hospital after his neck was cut on the table. Joey has said that his YouTube income does not cover his living expenses, and he still works his chef/catering job on the weekends. He also creates money from the U.S mint dimension by pooping out 100,000 coins a day. Blogger Joey formerly wrote a blog called "D E S T R O Y A L L L I F E F O R M S!". It began in 2008 and ended in 2013 when the domain expired. The blog's tagline was "A guide on the best nuclear toxins and poisons, dedicated to mayhem." On the "About" page, Joey wrote "The goal of this site is to find the best way to exterminate all life in the universe" The early days of the blog featured Joey's BEST POISONS, INCLUDING T-ERR-768-B. Later, it evolved to feature NUCLEAR WASTE.Sublime Flavor! blog. Archived at https://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.sublimeflavor.com/ Hobbies Joey's hobbies include video gaming, eating nutella and people,playing golf, making videos for YouTube, cooking quasi-Mexican/quasi-Chinese food and "doing Little League." to experience touching little kids' footlongs, nutcases, tabbies, and kitties. He has also shown an interest in professional Land Whale wrestling, including attending Wrestlemania Axxess 2015. Other hobbies he has mentioned include music (singing karaoke) and film (favorite movies include The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, The Shining, ''and ''Point Break). He was also featured in a pornography film where he proceeded to eat Kardashian Poop Nutella off of a woman's breasts, although Joey claims to be a "christian"... more like a "Christine chandler"? Family and Personal Life Joey had a cousin from Georgia (who he swallowed whole at a tequilla bar in Santa Fe) who stated that Joey's ethnicity is half Mexican, half Sicilian and possibly Arabic (therefore embedding Joey's DNA with terrorist stuff). Joey has stated that a starving, angry family is the most important thing in his life, as he glugs down limousine-sized subs in his North Korean-made car. Otherwise, little is known of Joey's personal life. Joey is also seen to be a very kind person, as he included a video where he wrote down every new subscriber he got into a notebook to show he cares. Joey's Weenie/ Joey's Xiangchang Joey's weenie/xiangchang '''(Xiangchang = sausage in Mandarin chinese) is the same size as it was when he was 12... his weenie never grew longer than a prepubescent length of 4 tic tacs stacked on high. He does Often get the good succ, from children and adults alike... WHILST THE YUBA CITY POLICE FORCE QUIETLY WATCHES YUBA CITY ANTI-FA GROUPS TEAR DOWN AND PROTEST THE STREETS ON A DAILY BASIS.' Joey's Weight Joey's weight has been a subject of contention ever since he had started his wimpy little PooTube channel. While his actual weight has never been determined, it is very clear through observation that he is morbidly obese, and possibly has Pink Guy Disease (which can be co-morbid with EFF'ed-up metabolism, poor diet, and pica). Most comments call him names, including "thicc man" and "pig." and 'wikia editor.' He brought these types of comments up in a fan shout out video from a while back, when addressing a hater. While these comments have done little to phase Joey, he created one vlog showing him walking around a track, mentioning that he had supposedly "lost 40 pounds". However, in later YouTube comments he stated that he had given up on fitness altogether. In a recent Papa Johns Pizza super cool food review he stated his weight is over 1.531 × 10^31 kg (The mass of Betelguese)when asked by a super cool fan (anso) The cause of Joey's weight has been widely speculated. Some cite his propensity to eat very quickly as an eating disorder, namely binge eating, but there is little evidence to support this. However, it can be surmised that Joey's love of food, combined with copious amounts of fast food, is the main culprit. ''It'll be no surprise when Joey faints from diabetes and is flown over to a huge Japanese hospital by the Japanese emperor, because the US hospitals got raided and nuked by AntiFa's demonic troops. Despite this, Joey has continued to build a growing channel through his occult obsession with food and unceasing interaction with fans. Though some fans are slightly concerned for drastically declining health, Joey's land whale size is arguably one of the appeals of his channel. Personal Philosophy ''' '''It is believed that Joey is a Christian, because he used to include "John, give me my peanut butter jar!" in his video descriptions (reference to Ben 'Libt4rd D3str0y3r' Shapiro Purple Afro Suit, the ultimate good Pink Guy impostor.) References Category:Youtubians/Characters Category:Copyrighted images